please don't forget about "drop dead gorgeous"
The world wasn't ready for this masterpiece.
On a Delta flight back home from LA I stumbled upon this poster amongst the in-flight entertainment options. Nothing had been calling to me thus far, and I had never heard of this title. The description didn’t give me much, mostly just said that it was a black comedy with Kirsten Dunst. Sounded interesting enough, and at 7am on a cross country flight, I really just needed something to tune out to. So, I hit play.
Best decision I’ve ever made in my entire life.
After the 97 minutes was up, I was on a high. I felt like my brain chemistry had just been altered. I wasn’t the same person I was before hitting play. It shocked me that it had taken so long for this masterpiece to come into my life. However, it turns out most people in 1999 didn’t share my enthusiastic takes. In fact, they were polar opposite.
Drop Dead Gorgeous takes place in the heart of America: Mount Rose, Minnesota (not a real place). Through the eyes of a mostly unseen doc crew, we watch the eccentric town bring the Mount Rose Miss American Teen Princess Pageant presented by Sarah Rose Cosmetics®©™ to fruition. But quickly, beauty queens are dropping dead. Is someone sabotaging the competition? Will the pageant go on as planned?
Not exactly. And it’s awesome!
Directed by Michael Patrick Jann and written by Lona Williams, this film is a camp and raunchy ride that never lets up on laughs. The story is based on Williams’ childhood in Rosemount, Minnesota where she herself also competed in beauty pageants.
And by the way, this cast is STACKED.
Kirsten Dunst, Denise Richards, Kirstie Alley, Amy Adams, Ellen Barkin, Alison Janney, Brittany Murphy, Mindy Sterling. Just to a name few.
There’s also stellar, hilarious performances by names you might not recognize, such as Sarah Stewart, Shannon Nelson, Tara Redepenning and Alexandra Holden who play 3 current and 1 former contestant.
The film is presented in a “mockumentary” style, which works perfectly for the elevated nature of script. On the basis that we’re getting a “real” slice of life, the over the top accents and performances make every scene doubly funny. The film propels its satire to the most extreme heights of camp, not shying away from pushing every scenario to the limit. The script is offensive, absurd, and deadly levels of hilarious; but its also sweet, heart warming and almost feels like a love letter to middle America at times.
The murder mystery plot adds an intriguing element to the story, however I think I still would’ve adored this film without it. The extravagant characters and situations on their own, are just as interesting and funny without the added tension. To me, this is what’s so great about the film. Every element already works so well on its own, and when its finally put together, it’s truly a sight to behold.
Each actor is on their A-game throughout this film. Kirsten Dunst charms in the lead role as the pageant’s underdog/Diane Sawyer in the making, Amber Atkins. Denise Richards and Kirstie Alley as mother-daughter duo from hell are so good they’ll bring back repressed high school memories.
Though, Dunst and Richards make up most of the screen time for our pageant contestants, the supporting ladies still pack a punch despite their thinner screen time. Amy Adams in her debut role delivers some great one-liners as the ditzy Leslie Miller. While Brittany Murphy’s manically eager Lisa makes her mark - and seemingly blows out the mics - as she screams “GAAAAAAAAYYYY!”:
Alexandra Holden as last years Miss Mount Rose winner, is perhaps the greatest hidden gem of this whole movie. The sweet little Mary Johanson has less than 10 minutes of screen time, but Holden makes every second count. Her pained smile paired with her soft tone of voice make every depressing line that comes out of her mouth darkly comical. Mary Johanson is the obvious symbol for the reality that beauty pageants impose on their contestants. After winning last years pageant, Mary Jo is bed bound in the hospital with anorexia. It’s quite depressing when you think about, but Holden brings a wholesome quality to the character that permits the audience to laugh rather than to feel depressed:
And I couldn’t possibly not mention the queen herself, Alison Janney. Loretta steals every scene whenever she appears. Her smart-talking, loyal character makes her impossible not to fall in love with, and with Janney in the role, its undeniable. Every line is comedy perfection. Whenever Loretta returns to the screen, you can’t help but feel giddy knowing a hysterical one-two punch is coming soon.
The jokes are razor sharp throughout, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the outdated elephant in the room. Being a film that takes place in midwestern America, not every word/joke that comes out of these character’s mouths is exactly appropriate. One of the supporting characters, Hank, has a learning disability, which prompts everyone to refer to him as an “r-word.” I think you know the one. I can’t lie, I wince every time someone refers to Hank that way. It feels out of place and overly mean spirited. Luckily, times have changed, and I’d like to think you wouldn’t find any trace of that word in the script if the film was made today. This kind of issue isn’t new for films of past generations; a great deal of many beloved films contain outdated dialogue, portrayals, etc. The most egregious one that comes to mind is Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yunioshi in Breakfast at Tiffanys. If you don’t know what I’m referring to and you’re morbidly curious, here it is. I guess my point is, I still believe that this film is worth everyone’s time, but we can also acknowledge it’s cringeworthy missteps that should continue to be called out no matter how old it is.
The film’s main goal is clearly to satirize beauty pageants, which it does quite perfectly. Although if you ask me, what this film really nails is the small town American culture. All of the fabulous women of DDG create a scarily realistic depiction of life for a young woman in a small town. This line from Loretta discussing the “royal family” of the town really nails it: “It’s front page news when one of them takes a shit.” In a town where everyone knows everyone, you’re life can kind of feel like its under a spotlight sometimes. Gossip spreads like wildfires, cliques are formed by the first grade and it can feel difficult to be completely true to yourself.
What’s so heart-warming about the women of Drop Dead Gorgeous, is that every one of them is completely who they are; all the good, bad and wacky. There’s a feeling of genuine camaraderie between all the girls that bursts off the screen and speaks directly to all the young women watching. Seeing this film for the first time transported me back to my own small town, where I was trying to form my own self-identity. Drop Dead Gorgeous is the kind of film I wish I saw back then because it serves as a real reminder that you don’t have to perfectly fit into the beauty pageant of life. Whether you win or lose, all that matters is that you were yourself.
As I previously mentioned, this films debut wasn’t met with instant appreciation. The film currently stands at a rotten 47% on Rotten Tomatoes. At the time of its release in 1999, Variety called the film’s jokes “tasteless” and implied it could have benefitted from some more subtlety. In a 2 star review, Roger Ebert described the film as “the movie that somehow never achieves takeoff speed.” Finally, Entertainment Weekly’s scathing D-rated review described the film as a “graceless mockumentary.”
Thankfully, somewhere along the way this film reached a cult status. Today, Drop Dead Gorgeous is praised for its irreverence and absurdity. In an excellent retrospective for Teen Vogue, Alex Zaragoza notes:
In 1999, this was the story for teen girls who had to work after-school jobs to help save for college; the teen girls that didn't fit in because they were considered weirdos; the teen girls who laugh their asses off watching a room full of pageant girls cover a pageant stage in vomit. And it's for girls dealing with the same stuff now. It's a reminder to be the Amber persevering in the face of adversity and to avoid the shellfish if it looks a bit sketchy.
Drop Dead Gorgeous was ahead of its time. In a time when all the teen comedy movies in theaters (10 Things I Hate About You, Clueless, She’s All That) have this sanitized, preppy glow to them, (this is not a diss I love these movies!!) DDG was raunchy, offensive, and truly real. Movies like that, that dare to be bold, are the ones that stand the test of time. Undoubtedly, DDG was very, very bold.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Wow Ciara, I have go to see this movie!” And you do, but it may be harder than you think. This film is not available for rent or purchase on any site, nor is it streaming on any platform. If you want to watch the film now, you’d have to pirate it or wait for your next Delta Airlines flight. Not all hope is lost though, used copies of the DVD or VHS can be found on Amazon, at Walmart or even on sites like Ebay. However, many of these options are a tad overpriced if you ask me. The fact that this movie isn’t readily available anymore breaks my heart. We cannot let this film become lost media one day. Just think of all the young women who haven’t seen this film yet! It’s so important!!!
So please please please join me in becoming a Drop Dead Gorgeous truther. I promise you won’t regret it.
Also I know I didn’t give many plot details or character descriptions away in this article, but it’s only because I really believe going in as blind as possible will make the experience that much more shocking and fun!
Once again, if you read all of this, you’re crazy for that, but I hope I’ve at least somewhat convinced you to go and watch this cult classic film.
Thanks for supporting my budding Substack career everybody, it’s very appreciated.
Until next time:)
Ciara, you’re doing a public service spreading the word about this fever dream of a film. So good!! I love this series of bringing back forgotten gems!